Th175/Joon and Shion's Scenario in English

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Courtesy of: https://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Touhou_Gouyoku_Ibun/Story/Joon_and_Shion%27s_Scenario

Stage 1

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⧼main_1⧽

Joon

Woah, this is amazing! There's really a ton of hot springs!

Shion

The rumors were right. There's an entire hot-spring town underground...

Joon

And we've got tons of petroleum: the thing that people say can make you rich enough to buy the whole world.

Joon

Today's gonna be an all-expenses-paid vacation trip!

Shion

Woohoo~! We're gonna live it up tonight!

Yuugi

Greetings! Welcome to Former Hell's hot spring town.

Yuugi

Do you have any particular location in mind for today?

Joon

All of them! All of them!

Joon

We're gonna rent out the whole town for just the two of us!

Joon

If you want money, it'll come gushing up as much as you want!

Shion

Kyaaaa! I'm getting shivers!

Yuugi

*Chuckle.* That's quite a funny joke...

Yuugi

If you think you can buy a hot spring with stinking water like that, you'd better think again.

Yuugi

Time for you to leave this establishment!

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⧼win⧽

Joon

Bring us your most expensive sake!

Shion

And your most expensive meal, too!

Yuugi

I can't let you rent out the whole town.

Yuugi

But if you actually have money, I can at least fill your orders.

Joon

How dare you speak to an oil baron with a rude mouth like that!

Joon

If you want money, it'll come gushing up as much as you want.

Yuugi

And try not to bother the other guests, okay?

Stage 2

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⧼main_1⧽

Shion

Where are we?

Joon

This is the fusion reactor's central core.

Joon

You see, uh, this was actually our main source of petroleum.

Joon

It's usually on fire and super-crazy-dangerous, but...

Joon

What the heck? Why's it flooded?

Joon

Maybe this is the reason that the petroleum's dried up?

Shion

It's DRIED UP?!

Joon

SHHH! Not so loud.

Joon

If word gets out about how the petroleum's stopped flowing, then we'll...

Shion

Nobody will give us money any more!

Shion

We'll be poor all over again!

Shion

We have GOT to stop that from happening.

Joon

So this is top-secret from everyone, got it?

Joon

Or else we'll never be able to pay our IOUs...

Kutaka

...And there. Reduction in flow rate confirmed.

Kutaka

Things should be back to normal any moment now.

Kutaka

I suppose it's time for me to return to Higan, then?

Joon

Psst. Did this bird hear everything we just said?

Joon

Grrrgh. I have no grudge against you, but we need to do this to protect our finances!

Joon

DIE!

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⧼win⧽

Kutaka

What on Earth?! Who are you two?!

Joon

Joon Yorigami! Local pestilence god turned oil baron.

Shion

Shion Yorigami. Local poverty god turned billionaire god.

Kutaka

I'm Kutaka Niwatari.

Kutaka

I've come to repair the Sanzu River and stop its water from leaking into here.

Kutaka

I have absolutely no reason to fight either of you.

Joon

Don't tell ANYBODY that you saw us down here, understand?

Kutaka

Whatever you say.

Kutaka

Who would I even tell such a boring fact to?

Kutaka

Oh, and by the way.

I suppose this area is going to be

bathed in hellfire in a few moments.

Kutaka

It would be rather dangerous to stay here, if you ask me.

Stage 3

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⧼main_1⧽

Joon

Hot, hot, hot!

Joon

All the water suddenly drained out super fast, and not two seconds later, it's like THIS?

Shion

Just like that bird from a minute ago said.

Shion

Are you sure there's more petroleum down here, though?

Joon

No doubt about that.

Joon

Look out!

Joon

What the?! Who's doing that?!

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⧼first spellcard cleared⧽

Utsuho

You're still not burnt away...?

Utsuho

In that case, I'll have to

roast you hard enough to burn

myself away along with you!

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⧼win⧽

Utsuho

*Pant, pant...*

Utsuho

I've got to eliminate any contaminants that get mixed into the Hell of Blazing Fires!

Joon

She's a bird of hellfire! She's practically immortal!

Joon

We don't have time to waste messing with her! Get out of here, quick!

Shion

Run away! Run awaaaay!

Utsuho

Hm? I feel like I was fighting someone just now...

Utsuho

Maybe it was my imagination.

Stage 4

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⧼main_1⧽

Shion

This is...?

Joon

Petroleum! An entire sea of petroleum!

Joon

Thank goodness. I guess our supply hasn't literally dried up.

Joon

Our life of leisure can safely resume! Now, time to grab all the petroleum we can!

Kanako

What...? What are you two doing down here?

Joon

Mmgh! Here to steal our petroleum, are you?

Joon

Unforgivable!

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⧼first spellcard cleared⧽

Kanako

Oil-grubbing parasites!

Kanako

The sheep earlier, and now the pestilence gods...

Kanako

It's when people like you act on your own that things get worse!

Kanako

Drown in oil and die!

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⧼win⧽

Joon

We won't hand over a single drop of this petroleum!

Kanako

First that Toutetsu woman, and now you two...

Kanako

Greedy misers all think the same way, it seems.

Joon

"First that Toutetsu woman"?

Joon

So there might be someone besides us who's after the petroleum...

Joon

That's certainly cause for concern.

Joon

Alright. Where is she?

Kanako

If you must know, she actually arrived here before you.

Kanako

She's been holed up in this oil field for quite some time now.

Joon

I see...

Joon

So it's her fault that the oil stopped erupting?

Kanako

You two...

Kanako

Are you not even aware of how it's polluting the surface?

Joon

What does that matter?

Shion

Petroleum absolutely brings wealth to society.

Shion

And there's no greater evil in the world than poverty.

Shion

Not that someone wealthy like you could ever understand!

Kanako

...Alright, then.

Kanako

Go get eaten by that Toutetsu, if you want.

Kanako

Even she was easier to get through to than you two.

Kanako

Farewell to you, the two most bottom-rung gods in the world.

Joon

Shut up! Drop dead!

Shion

Huh? Joon, where'd you go?!

Shion

Whaaaaaat...?!

Kanako

Huh? Did they leave?

Kanako

Gone to search for Toutetsu already, perhaps?

Kanako

Well, they're nothing if not proactive. I suppose I can at least respect that...

Stage 5

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⧼main_1⧽

Shion

Ow-ow-ow-ow.

Joon

Where the heck is this?

Joon

I was just trying to kick that annoying mountain god in her big, dumb back...

Shion

I never would've thought she had a warp trap hidden in her back. She totally got us...

Joon

A warp trap...?!

Joon

...I see. She did indeed get us.

Joon

She must've been taunting us to make us kick her back on purpose, then...

Joon

We fell for it hook, line and sinker.

Flandre

Don't you dare dodge! Die!

Joon

W-who?!

Flandre

I can beat these two up too, right?

Okina

Naturally.

Okina

Sometimes, your target might even leap through a back door of their own accord.

Okina

Battle them to your heart's content.

Flandre

All right! I get to run wild for the first time in ages!

Flandre

This time, you're REALLY gonna die!

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⧼first spellcard cleared⧽

Flandre

You're not bad.

Flandre

This might be a bit excessive for a warm-up.

Flandre

I think it's time to end this!

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⧼win⧽

Joon

S-strong...!

Flandre

*Pant, pant!* It sure feels nice to get some exercise for once.

Joon

Are you after the petroleum, too?

Flandre

Petroleum... the heck's that?

Joon

We don't care about fighting anyone except petroleum thieves!

Joon

So can you send us back to where we were? Like, seriously.

Shion

Joon! That door opened again!

Joon

Get in! Get in!

Stage 6

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⧼main_1⧽

Yuuma

...One hole dug for money~. Another hole dug for one's country~.

Yuuma

A third hole dug for hatred...

Yuuma

Everything wrapped around this oil-- every joy, every convenience, every curse, every animosity, every desire...

Yuuma

Every last drop of it is mine.

Yuuma

The Gouyoku Alliance will fly forth from the Animal Realm, and take over the whole world...

Yuuma

Keh-heh-heh... All this laughing has got my back feeling itchy.

Joon

W-where are we?!

Joon

It's that petroleum sea from before! Thank goodness...

Yuuma

You two... Where'd you come from?!

Joon

Who is it now?

Yuuma

You gimme your names first.

Shion

Shion Yorigami. Local poverty god turned billionaire god.

Joon

Joon Yorigami! Local pestilence god turned oil baron.

Yuuma

Yuuma Toutetsu.

Yuuma

--Wait, oil baron?!

Yuuma

The oil here belongs to us, the Gouyoku Alliance!

Joon

Excuse you!! The oil here belongs to us!

Both

We're not giving you a single drop!

We're not handing over a single drop!

I'll never hand over a single drop!

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⧼win⧽

Joon

So much for negotiating.

Joon

I was thinking that I might forgive you if you handed over all the oil to us...

Yuuma

Keh-heh-heh! You two are nice and greedy, I'll give you that.

Yuuma

All of my little oil friends are getting fired up in response, too!

Shion

All your little oil friends...?

Shion

Wow, that's sad.

Shion

She treats the oil like it's her pet or something.

Yuuma

Keh-heh-heh. You two must not know, then.

Yuuma

Y'see, this black water. It's not actually oil, per se.

Yuuma

Take a closer look with your deprived little eyes! The truth oughta reveal itself to you.

Stage 7

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⧼main_1⧽

Joon

T-this is...! The Hell of Blood Pools?!

Yuuma

Keh-heh-heh... This "petroleum" is actually cursed blood.

Yuuma

Seeing greedy people is just making it buzz with memories of when it was still alive.

Yuuma

Desire is the number-one proof that something's alive, after all!

Shion

T-this is really gross...

Joon

Seriously? This is what petroleum is?

Yuuma

Yep, absolutely.

Yuuma

In the Outside World, they even use tons of the stuff while knowing full well what it is!

Yuuma

Petroleum has always been produced from organic beings.

Yuuma

This liquid has always been made from the fear, pleasure, grief, loathing, and resentment of living creatures!

Yuuma

Unless you live off greed like I do, you can't handle it.

Yuuma

Now get out of here, you pair of eternal poors!

Shion

Who are you calling poor?!

Shion

Poor?! Seriously?! Shut UP about that!

Joon

Oh. Looks like you hit a nerve.

Shion

Who cares if it's petroleum or blood or whatever?!

Shion

We're gonna escape our deprived lifestyle, and for that to happen, you're gonna hand over all the oil to us!

Joon

Well, if my big sis is freaking out, then there's nothing to do but fight.

Joon

It doesn't matter what that petroleum is! We're not parting with a single drop after all!

Yuuma

That's just the kind of greed I like to see!

Yuuma

It'd be a waste to feed you to the oil.

Yuuma

Keh-heh-heh! You seem nice and nutritious, so I'll be the one to gobble you up.

Yuuma

Looks like my stomach's gonna be having a great meal tonight!