Th175/Joon and Shion's Scenario in English

Courtesy of: https://en.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Touhou_Gouyoku_Ibun/Story/Joon_and_Shion%27s_Scenario

Stage 1

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	⧼main_1⧽
	“The Great Spending Spree of Dreams”
Joon	Woah, this is amazing! There's really a ton of hot springs!
Shion	The rumors were right. There's an entire hot-spring town underground...
Joon	And we've got tons of petroleum: the thing that people say can make you rich enough to buy the whole world.
Joon	Today's gonna be an all-expenses-paid vacation trip!
Shion	Woohoo~! We're gonna live it up tonight!
Yuugi	Greetings! Welcome to Former Hell's hot spring town.
Yuugi	Do you have any particular location in mind for today?
Joon	All of them! All of them!
Joon	We're gonna rent out the whole town for just the two of us!
Joon	If you want money, it'll come gushing up as much as you want!
Shion	Kyaaaa! I'm getting shivers!
Yuugi	*Chuckle.* That's quite a funny joke...
Yuugi	If you think you can buy a hot spring with stinking water like that, you'd better think again.
Yuugi	Time for you to leave this establishment!

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	⧼win⧽
Joon	Bring us your most expensive sake!
Shion	And your most expensive meal, too!
Yuugi	I can't let you rent out the whole town.
Yuugi	But if you actually have money, I can at least fill your orders.
Joon	How dare you speak to an oil baron with a rude mouth like that!
Joon	If you want money, it'll come gushing up as much as you want.
Yuugi	And try not to bother the other guests, okay?

Stage 2

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	⧼main_1⧽
	“The Yorigami Sisters' Dirty Secret”
Shion	Where are we?
Joon	This is the fusion reactor's central core.
Joon	You see, uh, this was actually our main source of petroleum.
Joon	It's usually on fire and super-crazy-dangerous, but...
Joon	What the heck? Why's it flooded?
Joon	Maybe this is the reason that the petroleum's dried up?
Shion	It's DRIED UP?!
Joon	SHHH! Not so loud.
Joon	If word gets out about how the petroleum's stopped flowing, then we'll...
Shion	Nobody will give us money any more!
Shion	We'll be poor all over again!
Shion	We have GOT to stop that from happening.
Joon	So this is top-secret from everyone, got it?
Joon	Or else we'll never be able to pay our IOUs...
Kutaka	...And there. Reduction in flow rate confirmed.
Kutaka	Things should be back to normal any moment now.
Kutaka	I suppose it's time for me to return to Higan, then?
Joon	Psst. Did this bird hear everything we just said?
Joon	Grrrgh. I have no grudge against you, but we need to do this to protect our finances!
Joon	DIE!

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	⧼win⧽
Kutaka	What on Earth?! Who are you two?!
Joon	Joon Yorigami! Local pestilence god turned oil baron.
Shion	Shion Yorigami. Local poverty god turned billionaire god.
Kutaka	I'm Kutaka Niwatari.
Kutaka	I've come to repair the Sanzu River and stop its water from leaking into here.
Kutaka	I have absolutely no reason to fight either of you.
Joon	Don't tell ANYBODY that you saw us down here, understand?
Kutaka	Whatever you say.
Kutaka	Who would I even tell such a boring fact to?
Kutaka	Oh, and by the way. I suppose this area is going to be bathed in hellfire in a few moments.
Kutaka	It would be rather dangerous to stay here, if you ask me.

Stage 3

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	⧼main_1⧽
	“Bird of Hellfire”
Joon	Hot, hot, hot!
Joon	All the water suddenly drained out super fast, and not two seconds later, it's like THIS?
Shion	Just like that bird from a minute ago said.
Shion	Are you sure there's more petroleum down here, though?
Joon	No doubt about that.
Joon	Look out!
Joon	What the?! Who's doing that?!

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	⧼first spellcard cleared⧽
Utsuho	You're still not burnt away...?
Utsuho	In that case, I'll have to roast you hard enough to burn myself away along with you!

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	⧼win⧽
Utsuho	*Pant, pant...*
Utsuho	I've got to eliminate any contaminants that get mixed into the Hell of Blazing Fires!
Joon	She's a bird of hellfire! She's practically immortal!
Joon	We don't have time to waste messing with her! Get out of here, quick!
Shion	Run away! Run awaaaay!
Utsuho	Hm? I feel like I was fighting someone just now...
Utsuho	Maybe it was my imagination.

Stage 4

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	⧼main_1⧽
	“The Oil Field Belongs to Us”
Shion	This is...?
Joon	Petroleum! An entire sea of petroleum!
Joon	Thank goodness. I guess our supply hasn't literally dried up.
Joon	Our life of leisure can safely resume! Now, time to grab all the petroleum we can!
Kanako	What...? What are you two doing down here?
Joon	Mmgh! Here to steal our petroleum, are you?
Joon	Unforgivable!

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	⧼first spellcard cleared⧽
Kanako	Oil-grubbing parasites!
Kanako	The sheep earlier, and now the pestilence gods...
Kanako	It's when people like you act on your own that things get worse!
Kanako	Drown in oil and die!

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	⧼win⧽
Joon	We won't hand over a single drop of this petroleum!
Kanako	First that Toutetsu woman, and now you two...
Kanako	Greedy misers all think the same way, it seems.
Joon	"First that Toutetsu woman"?
Joon	So there might be someone besides us who's after the petroleum...
Joon	That's certainly cause for concern.
Joon	Alright. Where is she?
Kanako	If you must know, she actually arrived here before you.
Kanako	She's been holed up in this oil field for quite some time now.
Joon	I see...
Joon	So it's her fault that the oil stopped erupting?
Kanako	You two...
Kanako	Are you not even aware of how it's polluting the surface?
Joon	What does that matter?
Shion	Petroleum absolutely brings wealth to society.
Shion	And there's no greater evil in the world than poverty.
Shion	Not that someone wealthy like you could ever understand!
Kanako	...Alright, then.
Kanako	Go get eaten by that Toutetsu, if you want.
Kanako	Even she was easier to get through to than you two.
Kanako	Farewell to you, the two most bottom-rung gods in the world.
Joon	Shut up! Drop dead!
Shion	Huh? Joon, where'd you go?!
Shion	Whaaaaaat...?!
Kanako	Huh? Did they leave?
Kanako	Gone to search for Toutetsu already, perhaps?
Kanako	Well, they're nothing if not proactive. I suppose I can at least respect that...

Stage 5

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	⧼main_1⧽
	*Oops!*
Shion	Ow-ow-ow-ow.
Joon	Where the heck is this?
Joon	I was just trying to kick that annoying mountain god in her big, dumb back...
Shion	I never would've thought she had a warp trap hidden in her back. She totally got us...
Joon	A warp trap...?!
Joon	...I see. She did indeed get us.
Joon	She must've been taunting us to make us kick her back on purpose, then...
Joon	We fell for it hook, line and sinker.
Flandre	Don't you dare dodge! Die!
Joon	W-who?!
Flandre	I can beat these two up too, right?
Okina	Naturally.
Okina	Sometimes, your target might even leap through a back door of their own accord.
Okina	Battle them to your heart's content.
Flandre	All right! I get to run wild for the first time in ages!
Flandre	This time, you're REALLY gonna die!

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	⧼first spellcard cleared⧽
Flandre	You're not bad.
Flandre	This might be a bit excessive for a warm-up.
Flandre	I think it's time to end this!

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	⧼win⧽
Joon	S-strong...!
Flandre	*Pant, pant!* It sure feels nice to get some exercise for once.
Joon	Are you after the petroleum, too?
Flandre	Petroleum... the heck's that?
Joon	We don't care about fighting anyone except petroleum thieves!
Joon	So can you send us back to where we were? Like, seriously.
Shion	Joon! That door opened again!
Joon	Get in! Get in!

Stage 6

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	⧼main_1⧽
	“The Greedy Ones' Promised Land”
Yuuma	...The first hole's dug for my money~. The second hole's dug for my country~.
Yuuma	The third hole's dug for my hatred...
Yuuma	Everything wrapped around this oil-- every joy, every convenience, every curse, every animosity, every desire...
Yuuma	Every last drop of it is mine.
Yuuma	The Gouyoku Alliance will fly forth from the Animal Realm, and take over the whole world...
Yuuma	Keh-heh-heh... All this laughing has got my back feeling itchy.
Joon	W-where are we?!
Joon	It's that petroleum sea from before! Thank goodness...
Yuuma	You two... Where'd you come from?!
Joon	Who is it now?
Yuuma	You gimme your names first.
Shion	Shion Yorigami. Local poverty god turned billionaire god.
Joon	Joon Yorigami! Local pestilence god turned oil baron.
Yuuma	Yuuma Toutetsu.
Yuuma	--Wait, oil baron?!
Yuuma	The oil here belongs to us, the Gouyoku Alliance!
Joon	Excuse you!! The oil here belongs to us!
Both	We're not giving you a single drop! We're not handing over a single drop! I'll never hand over a single drop!

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	⧼win⧽
Joon	So much for negotiating.
Joon	I was thinking that I might forgive you if you handed over all the oil to us...
Yuuma	Keh-heh-heh! You two are nice and greedy, I'll give you that.
Yuuma	All of my little oil friends are getting fired up in response, too!
Shion	All your little oil friends...?
Shion	Wow, that's sad.
Shion	She treats the oil like it's her pet or something.
Yuuma	Keh-heh-heh. You two must not know, then.
Yuuma	Y'see, this black water. It's not actually oil, per se.
Yuuma	Take a closer look with your deprived little eyes! The truth oughta reveal itself to you.

Stage 7

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	⧼main_1⧽
Joon	T-this is...! The Hell of Blood Pools?!
Yuuma	Keh-heh-heh... This "petroleum" is actually cursed blood.
Yuuma	Seeing greedy people is just making it buzz with memories of when it was still alive.
Yuuma	Desire is the number-one proof that something's alive, after all!
Shion	T-this is really gross...
Joon	Seriously? This is what petroleum is?
Yuuma	Yep, absolutely.
Yuuma	In the Outside World, they even use tons of the stuff while knowing full well what it is!
Yuuma	Petroleum has always been produced from organic beings.
Yuuma	This liquid has always been made from the fear, pleasure, grief, loathing, and resentment of living creatures!
Yuuma	Unless you live off greed like I do, you can't handle it.
Yuuma	Now get out of here, you pair of eternal poors!
Shion	Who are you calling poor?!
Shion	Poor?! Seriously?! Shut UP about that!
Joon	Oh. Looks like you hit a nerve.
Shion	Who cares if it's petroleum or blood or whatever?!
Shion	We're gonna escape our deprived lifestyle, and for that to happen, you're gonna hand over all the oil to us!
Joon	Well, if my big sis is freaking out, then there's nothing to do but fight.
Joon	It doesn't matter what that petroleum is! We're not parting with a single drop after all!
Yuuma	That's just the kind of greed I like to see!
Yuuma	It'd be a waste to feed you to the oil.
Yuuma	Keh-heh-heh! You seem nice and nutritious, so I'll be the one to gobble you up.
Yuuma	Looks like my stomach's gonna be having a great meal tonight!